Catholic School was NOT my Saving Grace
By: Missionary Team
We all come from different dynamics - which is what makes our world so unique. Our parents are the ones who raise us and shape us into the person we are today, along with other adult figures. But sometimes along the way in our lives, we start realizing we can’t believe everything that is taught to us; we have to start forming our own values and beliefs.
Growing up, I was raised in a “Catholic” family, but all we did was go to church on Sundays, joined a few family groups to “meet people”, and that was about it. I attended Catholic School all my life literally from Pre-K3 to 12th grade. My parents thought that this would be the best way to receive my faith formation; but in reality, it destroyed it. I was taught textbook religion. Things were forced on me in a way that just drew me further and further away through the years. These things consisted of forced adoration with praise and worship, presentations of the prayers in front of the class (but being publicly humiliated if you messed up), and endless hours of being told who God the Father is instead of being shown who God the Father is.
I realized as I got older, I hated the faith and wanted nothing to do with it by the time I was in middle school. This began to lead me down a road of falling into the motions where I just did what I needed to do to get by in school and please my family by attending Mass with them on Sundays. But most of the time, I would just sit there and plan out my social life or take a nap in the pew. By the time 8th grade came around, it was time for me to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. At this point, I saw this sacrament as another assignment versus the beautiful gift of being sealed by the Holy Spirit.
Once I graduated 8th grade, high school came around the corner. I was very blessed to go to a Catholic High School with the many opportunities that were set before me. In the end, religious morals were not strongly practiced among the student body. With the personality I have as a fun, bubbly sanguine, I made friends very easily and had plenty of them. I could have easily been dragged into the party culture that was strongly displayed in the friends I thought I had, but praise God for my sister who steered me away from them and invited me into her group of friends that were actually alive with Jesus at the center of everything they do.
Life was great, I was on a good path with great friends and an actual relationship with God the Father. But then I take a look around and realized that all my friends were seniors, and I was a junior; this meant one thing - they would be graduating soon and I would not. So I decided to attend a retreat at my school, to try and meet some people in my grade with similar interests as me. This led me to be invited onto the leadership team for the fall of my senior year, but this was probably not the best choice. The summer before my senior year my life took a pretty drastic turn of events.
My sister who was not only my best friend but also the anchor in my family decided to get her own apartment which led to my family falling apart through many fights and disagreements. I couldn’t handle the stress home life was bringing me. So, to ease the pain in my heart, I turned away from God and stepped into the party scene. I made my appearance in this scene through my struggles with an eating disorder, which led me to lose lots of weight, making my appearance exceptional to guys in my grade. I was lost, so very lost, and I was still expected to lead a retreat, funny how that works.
God was nowhere to be found in my life. I thought I was happy, but I was walking in the dark allowing my own voice to take control of my path, which was not the best thing to be happening. Sooner or later, I finally began to listen to my heart and what the Lord was speaking to me. This led me to saving grace through my call to missionary life. In the end, Catholic School did not help me come to this conclusion, it was me, myself, and I along with the assistance of God’s plan screaming at me.
Everyone believes Catholic School is a great, faith-filled safe place to send your child. The many years of their life spent in school will be the foundation of a relationship with God the Father. For me, it was not the foundation in my Faith. I had to take bits and pieces of this experience and figure out what was truth and what was opinion.
I will say something this experience had taught me was learning how to make my faith my own through seeking mentorship and listening to my heart by following what God was calling me to be. So parents, if you are reading this, I am begging you do not let faith formation be the sole reason to send your child to a Catholic School. Faith Formation starts in the home and a Catholic School can be your assistant in this journey. It helps in learning the history of the faith but not developing the faith.
The family needs to set the stage as to how our faith shall be displayed. Catholic School creates an environment to allow us kids to fall and figure out how to get back up again with the help of the Lord’s hand in our lives. That is what this experience showed me, and I could not be more grateful for this opportunity.
