A Leap of Faith Saved My Life
By: Missionary Team
Should I or shouldn’t I? What if this is not the right choice? Some people don’t think that this is the right decision. Plus, I don’t see how I can succeed. What should I do? It was in the summer of 2019 that these questions plagued my mind for the first time. I had just met a group of missionaries, and the very first day that I was with them, I got the thought about joining them, and it was just out of the blue. When I was a little girl growing up, I always wanted to help people. I loved St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I loved how selfless she was and how she served others. I chose her for my Confirmation Saint because I wanted to imitate her and help others. Two years later, I randomly got the thought to join a missionary group that I didn’t even know existed till the night before. After spending five days with them, I was still thinking about joining them. I gave them my contact information so that they could follow up with me. But as soon as they left, I started to doubt. How could I be a missionary? I was a mess-how could I help people? I was also shy, quiet, uncomfortable around strangers, uncomfortable with myself, and felt like I had nothing to offer to help people. I am not very smart, I am not strong, and I have no special gifts or talents. Half a week later, I received an email from one of the missionaries. I responded with all of these questions and doubts. However, as the missionary year had just ended, she was not able to get back to me, and so I never received a response to my hesitations. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that one of the missionaries was working at the place I was volunteering, I’m not sure I ever would have applied. I spent hours talking to this missionary; in the kitchen, in the hall, it didn’t matter. To her, I poured out all of my doubts and concerns, every reason why I would make a terrible missionary. To each of my comments, she would tell me that it didn’t disqualify me, that God could still use me, and that I DID have something to offer.
I tried to discern but never knew how to tell if it was God or me I was hearing. After a month and a half of debating, someone made a couple of comments about me and the missionary program. It quickly caught my attention-was this my sign? I’m not sure but I took it as one... I sent in the application for the missionary program a week later. After I applied, I still wondered if this was right-could I do this? However, as I went through the interview process, I got more and more excited at the idea. I began to want to do this more and more. But despite the fact that I wanted to do this, and this missionary encouraged me, some people thought that I was making a mistake. Some people were hesitant because they didn’t know much about the group, and it was all happening really fast. I went back and forth but became convicted that this was what I was supposed to do, even though I honestly didn’t really know what I was going to do as a missionary, or what to expect. So... I made a leap of faith and joined the missionary program. And I can honestly say that it was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. Being a missionary has helped me to grow in many ways. I have grown in self-confidence and have learned more about myself. I have done things I never thought that I could do, like reaching out to a kid in the corner, sharing my story, talking to strangers, and working out. It has allowed me to be able to reach out and help people, just like I always wanted to do since I was little; it’s just a slightly different way of missionary work than what St. Mother Teresa did. It has also helped to heal me in many ways. It has healed wounds in my heart that I didn’t even know I had. It’s shown me that I am more than I think I am. That God has a purpose for my life that I can never imagine. It has healed me so much. I believe that it has saved my life!
When I finished my first year as a missionary, I had the opportunity to do a second year. I once again had doubts, as I would be more in a leadership position. There were also some things going on back home that I wondered if I should be there for. Then there was trying to figure out if God wanted me to do this, or if it was just me. After another stressful month and a half of trying to figure it out, I agreed to come back and I had peace. So, what am I trying to say? What I am trying to tell you all is that sometimes it takes a leap of faith. I described coming here for my first year as a leap of faith. And it was the best thing that I have ever done! Now, as I am trying to figure out the next step of my life (college), I am once again thinking that I am going to be asked to make a leap of faith. So I just want to encourage you, if you feel like God is calling you to do something that you don’t think you can do or you don’t understand, take a leap of faith. God has bigger plans for you than you can imagine. Even if you don’t think you can do it, we have a God who performs miracles. Trust Him, not yourself. All He needs is your “yes”! Take that “Leap of Faith” today!
