The Inkwell Of My Mind
By: Missionary Team
My mind is chaotic. I can picture it as all different colors of ink being poured into an inkwell and mixed around until it's a muddled mess. On good days, that can be exciting and fun. So many thoughts and ideas swirling around to create beautiful productivity and irreplaceable memories. Other days, it can look like utter destruction that creates self-hatred, confusion, and complete chaos.
I am a natural thinker and problem solver. Every situation that comes at me is like an exciting challenge to figure out and conquer. I am always analyzing and strategizing. I love to take a new or unfinished project and carry it to completion. God has given me the gift of a mind that can multitask and manage. All fine and dandy until it comes to my thought life. I can get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing that I am exhausted by my own thoughts. My thoughts can quickly turn to negativity and overanalyzing myself, a situation, or a relationship.
One of the key ways that I have learned to manage the thoughts in my mind is by writing - specifically by journaling. I journal nearly every day. The way I see it, is I take my “inkwell” of thoughts for the day and surrender them to the Lord on paper. I use my natural ability to analyze and to let Christ speak to me. Here are a few specific ways I do it.
1. Journal until you are empty of thought
This is one way that helps me to be able to listen to the voice of Christ. I journal until I don’t have any of my own thoughts or feelings swirling around in my mind. I let it all out on my pages, and then I sit. I listen for the voice of God, and it’s easier to do since I’ve let out all of my own thoughts already. A lot of the time, I start to journal a prayer after that, and it turns from my voice to God’s voice.
2. Allow yourself to be direct and practical
Because I’m an extrovert, I need to externally process what’s going on inside of me, or I just feel stuck. It’s easy to think that journaling is some kind of art, where you need a process or fancy words to effectively journal. But no! Make it your own. Be as direct and practical as you need to be. Every day my journal looks a little different. Sometimes I’m letting out feelings, sometimes it’s a prayer, sometimes it’s a situation. Whatever it is, I know it needs to be what’s on my mind practically. I will literally write lists of feelings or random words I’m feeling. Seeing it all in front of me allows me to identify and organize my inkwell of thoughts
3. Let God be King of the chaos
Sometimes, I don’t figure out what’s going on in my mind. And that’s when God gets to be king of the chaos. Some days, my journal is a prayer to God, begging him to take the confusion or frustration I feel and use it for his good. I have to refuse to see my mind as a burden and celebrate that I am a thinker. I have to allow God to use it, and when it’s tough, I have to let him be king of what feels like chains in my mind. He wants every part of me, even the parts I can’t seem to understand or gain control of. He comes through every time, but the key is that I have to allow him to be my savior. I can’t use my tendency to problem-solve or fix things to override the truth that God wants to be King of my thoughts
There’s great freedom in letting the Lord take the inkwell of my mind and paint a picture more colorful and stunning than I could ever imagine. I desire to make my mind’s inkwell a reservoir for the Lord to make into art that reflects His beauty and goodness.
