You are ENOUGH
By: Amazing Nation Guest Writer
I did not grow up in the most stable environment, and while there are absolutely worse situations, mine had an effect on me that I think someone may be able to relate to and I would enjoy telling you all about it.
I never got the lesson growing up that I was complete on my own. I was taught, maybe indirectly, but I believed I needed to be actively looking for a relationship or in a relationship to be a complete person. The person I had as my example was always pointing out a cute guy across the room, trying to set myself up with people, making me feel like there was something wrong with me because the guys she was pointing out typically were way older and didn't really want me or a relationship. So, over time I ended up hating myself, ending up depressed and confused. I was never once told I didn't need a boyfriend, and that I didn't need another person to be complete.
But what did I see growing up from this person? Explosive fighting with their partner. Leaving and coming back. Checking out guys in public when their husband wasn't around. I was not shown an example of a healthy relationship. I was shown who not to be.
I spent a lot of time thinking about how badly I wanted to be in love, that I made many poor choices, and gravitated toward the wrong type of people, the wrong type of guys. I had a few emotionally abusive relationships very early into high school and was raped by someone I wasn't even "dating". All because I thought "Well this guy is giving me attention so he must be the one". *insert eye roll*
Let me tell you, dear reader, this is crap. I did not need a guy in my life, I didn't need a relationship, and I didn't need those toxic people I surrounded myself with. And what I'm trying to do here is tell you neither do you. You are complete on your own. You are fulfilled without another person. You do not need a relationship to be happy. You are amazing the way you are. You don't need to change yourself over and over again or adapt to a person to be fulfilled. You are enough. I was not once told this by anyone growing up, especially by the people who should be the ones telling me this. And that is why I'm writing this. So, if you were never told before...you are enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are complete.
I may have learned this too late. I got very involved with church and used my youth groups as a reason not to be home in that environment. I learned a lot about myself there and stopped caring so much about being in a relationship or putting so much energy into trying to find one. And I stopped dating. My first real boyfriend was when I was in college. And he was nothing like what I thought a relationship looked like. He was good and pure and he never once made me feel like I wasn't enough. He never made me feel like I needed him to be complete. He is who God had waiting for me all along. He waited until I was okay on my own to bring him into my life even though our stories were connected.
