Dating for Fun or for the Future?
By: Missionary Team
I may not be a psychiatrist but it doesn't take an expert to point out when a relationship is toxic. In my own life, I have both experienced and witnessed unhealthy relationships along with the toxic pains and issues that arose from couples being on different pages. In today's society people often can get caught up in these mindless relationships and “hookups” that they think are fun and beneficial, making each other “feel good.” The simple reality is these casual commitment relationships are terribly detrimental to both people. In this blog, I will be pointing out what, in my opinion, can make or break a relationship.
Hooking up
DO NOT BE A PART OF HOOKUP CULTURE!! One-night stands, or even just meeting up with someone for the pure sake of releasing sexual tension is not healthy. In colleges and even high schools across the country this type of culture, aka “Hook up culture”, is very prominent. It doesn't help that singers and songwriters glorify this when in reality hooking up with someone is often associated with depression, higher divorce rates, and lower satisfaction in the future with a more significant other.
Use
One of the questions that you should ask yourself when getting into a relationship is whether or not the relationship is mutually beneficial. It's all too easy to get into a relationship with someone you don't really like or have feelings for just because they are attractive or of a higher social class.
Infatuation vs Love
Everybody knows that feeling in middle school when you find that one person you're so wildly “in love with” and they're all you think about, but in reality, it's just the face value of puppy love. In your teenage and adult years, this puppy love can turn into infatuation where you might think you're in love with someone when in reality you are in love with the idea of them. A good way to differentiate between love and infatuation is to ask yourself the question of why you “love” the person. Is it clean and pure? Or is it rooted in lust and selfishness? If the answer is the second option then odds are being with the person will only lead to emptiness and a toxic relationship in the future which is neither fun nor good for one's future!
Project dating
one of the best ways to stay out of toxic and harmful relationships is to know the person you are dating. If the person has habits that turn you off don’t ever let yourself say things like “I can help them” or “they’ll change soon.” If they haven’t fixed themselves before you start dating then odds are they probably never will. One might find themselves staying in toxic relationships because they can only look at someone through rose-colored glasses. They only see the potential someone might have. Consenting to date someone while they are struggling with bad habits is saying to them that you're ok with them doing that and that you can put up with it. Stand firm! If it's important to you it should be important to your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is one of the must-haves for making sure that your relationship betters both people and their futures, rather than just for empty and fake happiness.
Sex
It might seem old-fashioned but please WAIT TILL MARRIAGE, for your sake, and for your significant others. Before you are too quick to judge here are some hard facts: A study done by the institute for family studies showed that if you have only had sex with your spouse you are 71% more likely to be happy in marriage than if you had sex with other people before your spouse. The study also showed that women with 10 or more partners were the most likely to divorce. Women with 3-9 partners were less likely to divorce, and women with 0-1partners were the least likely to divorce out of all. With 60% of all marriages ending in divorce in 2020. So, it might pay to heed the words of your pastor or grandma because the odds are stacked against us. If you are having sex in your relationship and you are not married, odds are you are dating for fun and not for your future. With all these things in mind remember that our relationship with God must come first. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is pulling you away from that, then you must get out of the relationship immediately. Our souls come first! Don’t risk your soul and eternity for fleeting moments. Remember 2 Peter 3:17-18 which says: “Therefore, beloved, since you are forewarned, be on your guard not to be led into the error of the unprincipled and to fall from your own stability. But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory now and the day of eternity.”
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