Finding the Light Amid Darkness
By: Missionary Team
When I was about twelve years old, I could no longer peacefully sleep through the night. I would wake up every night at the same time and listen carefully to the sounds of my old farmhouse. I remember tensing up in bed, trying to remain calm as I listened to what sounded like footsteps slowly moving around and eventually making their way to my creaky staircase. I’m going, to be honest, I was scared for my life. I was convinced that there was a stranger in my house trying to get me even though it was absolutely nothing. Every time I would try to shake the feeling, I could never get the anxiety to leave me.
It was so irrational during the day, and when the darkness hit, it would always come back. I thought that it would never end. It took a while, but this occurrence eventually faded from my life. I guess it could have been some childish fear, but it made a lasting impact. Every time it happened, it was always during the dark of night. It would be where the light was unattainable, where all my other comfort was peacefully asleep. Sometimes, I would go looking for this comfort. I ran to my parent’s room most of the time that it happened because I couldn’t handle it on my own. I remember feeling like such a burden having to wake them up because I was imagining things, but they were very understanding that I was fearful. This is similar to how the Father sees us as His beloved children. Ephesians 5:8-9, 11-12 tells us, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness, rather expose them... but everything exposed by the light becomes visible.” He tells us to not live in the darkness, for the darkness is where sin lives. It becomes easier to fall into guilt, shame, and hurt in the dark. There, we can hide and think that we have escaped reality. In fact, we can live in a lie. And it’s easy to fall into this. The truth is hard and difficult to swallow, but if we never bring it into the light, we will be forever lost. There will never be healing; there will never be understanding when we can’t uncover the reality. This is a metaphor for what I experienced in my own life. I lived in fear; I lived in anxiety.
Even though I was young and it was hard to control, it is relatable. I lived in the lie that someone was there, even though there was nothing. In the daytime, I knew it wasn’t real, but every time when it was dark, it was there. I never acknowledged it in the light, so it persisted when I didn’t do anything. It became easy to believe. Christ calls us to the light because that is where He lives. He comes to rescue us out of the darkness because He desires to heal us. We are His, and He would never leave us to sit in the shame and guilt of our sins. He offers us mercy. His mercy is the light of a new day. His unconditional love is the light of a new day. His comfort that He provides is the light of a new day. However, living in this light is a decision that we must make. It’s easy to live in the darkness because it feels like a way out, but darkness always traps you. The light makes a way to see the truth. Seeing the truth can be difficult, but that is why Christ is there to guide us. You are not a burden. He wants us to rest in Him; this is where we can truly be free.
