Stop This . . . “Good Kid” Crap

By: Missionary Team

And there I sat, on the upper staircase burying my head into my limbs shaking, restless and despairing. “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” I screamed in a deeply suppressed breath of air so that God or anyone who might hear. I was slowly wasting away. “If this is all there is to life and there’s no hope of light at the end of the tunnel, is it even worth living?” . . . Being just a “good kid” does not save lives, it ends them.

This was about four years ago as a sophomore in highschool. I was in the midst of a fight with SEVERE anxiety and stress. Like the kind of anxiety and stress that I could relate to the feelings of one who wanted to give up on life. So obviously, I didn’t have a whole ton of stability in my life. The lies had been taking over mental battlegrounds in my head so successfully that in the midst of a seemingly “perfect” outward life, I was losing grip of myself, and I was slowly dying inside. Yes, I did grow up in a Catholic Family, and I did believe that there was a God who loved me. But I was missing the point.

Growing up I was very shy, and was not very confident in myself by any means. I vividly remember a point in 7th grade, at my Catholic school. My “friend group” was hanging out in our homeroom making jokes, when one of the boys switched the light-hearted joking to malicious bullying of one of the quiet kids who was trying to be a part of the group. Time after time this kept happening, and I did NOTHING. I knew it was wrong, but I WAS SCARED.

Did I consider myself a good kid? Yes, I did, but I allowed something some evil to be done without even a small voice in defense of the kid being pummeled through the floor with lethal strikes of the tongue. Looking back, this kid undoubtedly struggled with anxiety and depression, but the thing was. He wasn’t alone. I did too. But even through the disguised gift given to me to be able to relate, I still hid under my “good kid” facade, and refused to do anything to help the bully’s victim.

Fast forward about 3 years. My anxiety and stress got to its most lethal and overbearing phase. This, however, was not the end for me. GOD SAVED MY LIFE by leading me to a few young guys at my new church. They had a peace and joy about their very being that I had never seen in anyone before. I soon realized that it was because they knew who they were and they knew where their worth came from. They knew they were sons, sons of the living God, their true Father.

From this point forward my life was changed, and I realized that nothing else was going to fulfill me other than living for Jesus Christ. But what I failed to realize was my hypocrisy. I still chose to live for sin as most “good kids” do. I gave into selfishness and lust. I lived a double life and hurt countless people because of it. I failed to listen to St. Paul when he says, “In the same way, the Lord ordered that those who preach the gospel should live by the gospel.” (1 Cor. 9:14)

As my time in high school came to a close I changed my plans for the following year by becoming as Hard as Nails missionary, I soon came to discover how hard it actually was to truly live the gospel. I was definitely held accountable for my sinful tendencies while living in a community that puts authenticity first and foremost. My life will never be the same. Living with everything I got for my God gives me a sense of peace, a sense of joy and fulfillment that no man can take away from me! I am avoiding the Lord’s threat, “So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” (Rev 3:16)

So all in all, why do I share this with you? Because I’m freaking sick and tired of all this “good kid” crap! If those young men in my life had settled to simply be a “good kid” I might not even be here sharing my story with you guys. I truly believe that God saved my life through the outreach of those guys from my church. We youth can’t settle to be “good kids.” People NEED YOU AND ME. Your life is responsible for the eternal state of the souls around you! How do you want to live?

Pope Benedict XVI says it best, “The world promised you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”